Wird Wacky not so funny fanfic
by The-Original-Sphere-Hunter
Summary: Hollatarty?, Junketeers, Tidus blow up doll?????? please R


~*~ Ok this is a crappy little story I decided to do to 'Cure' my writers block, It was also a challenge that a friend of mine sent to me~*~  
  
~*~the criteria are: At least 3 cheesy superheros (eg zitbuster, egg shell woman) A damsel in distress a ps2 game the line "I'll be back" A happy ending misato from evangelion the last word has to be cheese and a sci-fi show has to be in it OK here goes nothin'~*~ Once in a land that exists only in peoples sick twisted imaginations there was a damsel in distress she wore a lovely white dress and had beautiful blond hair and seductive blue eyes that could bring a straight man to his knees, her name Hollatarty. Hollatarty was trapped by horrid green aliens who breath smelt like off cabbage she screamed for help. "Oh help me help me!" she screamed as the slimy green aliens approached her with there beady little eyes on one thing they have probably never seen before. Just at the same moment Pumpkin head man caught Hollatarty's call for help. "Oh no I can hear someone calling for help!" he cried. He grabbed his red cap and tied it around his head and flew off into the starry night sky. "Never fear Pumpkin head man is here!" He jumped in front of the aliens "Don't worry miss I will save you!" "Oh thank you so much" Hollatarty replied. The aliens looked at one another and laughed. They started to advance on him "Oh no what do I do!?" Just then Hollatarty grabbed a knife "Let's make jock 'o lanterns" Pumpkin head man turned around and gave her a dull look and simply replied "Don't you mean JACK 'o lanterns?" Hollatarty shook her head and pounced on Pumpkin head man. "Noooooooo..."  
  
Hollatarty wiped the side of her mouth in a seductive homicidal manner. "Yummy" She turned to her invaders and slowly slid one side of her bra off and fluttered her eyelids the aliens stoped and went red they started to shake and make weird eerie sounds. Hollatarty slid down the other bra strap and then the aliens exploded. "Oops" She turned around and walked back inside and sat down and played a PS2 game.  
  
"Oh Captain junkyard how can we ever thank you for making our yard so messy?" "All in a days work ma'am" "We love you!" "I know" Captain Junkyard flew off in a hurry and disappeared. A young boy with green hair said "Well junketeers we did our job here" "I agree fungi" A young girl replied who wore a tyre around her (*) Cough Cough (*) and her breast's.  
  
Mean while at Hollatartys mansion of a cardboard box she cursed at her PS2 game and kicked it out of the box. "Damn cheep rip off's" She stormed out and looked out at the morning sun. She walked down the dirt road Hollatarty then spotted a two dogs 'Having fun' she went into a fit of giggling and wet her self. "Oh the humanity.This was my only dress!" she ran of and kicked the dog that was moving in a vigorous action. "You sick little puppy don't Fu** woman in public that's my job!" And with that she booted the male dog of the bitch.  
  
"Quick junketeers I heard someone screaming!" "Oh no fungi watch out!" Tyre girl yelled a brown dog flew over the trees and hit fungi bum first in the face! "Ooo owie!" Fungi lied on the ground groaning and gasping for air. Rusty and Bog girl lifted the dog off fungi's face "Are you okay?" "Just... Come on we must find that damsel in distress!" So with that the junketeers walked down the winding little road to the castel.  
  
"Damn stupid game" Hollatarty threw the control on the ground and stormed towards the phone. "Yes.Hello Misato?" "Hollatary can't this wait an angle is attacking Tokyo!" "Look I don't give a flying F**k about bloody Tokyo right now I can't get past this stupid fiend on that game 'Final Fantasy X'." "Quick Shinji go run to the Eva port" "MISATO ARE YOU LISTINING!?" "S**T..beep beep beep beep" "SCREW YOU TOO YOU WHORE DON'T F**KING TELL ME THEN!" And with that she threw the phone across the room and it smashed into 137 pieces. "I hope she dies" Little did Hollatary know Misato got stepped on by Shinji's Eva and she is on the bottom of its foot. "I neeeeeeeed help!" Hollatary screamed at the top of her lungs.  
  
"Did you hear that junketeers?" "What are you talking about Zit?" "I heard a damsel in distress!" "Quick we must summon Captain junk yard!" So with that each junketeer threw their hand into the air and yelled the following: "Fungus" "Rust" "Burning Tyres" "Dirty Water" "Scrap metal!" "GO CAPTAIN JUNKYARD" They all yelled in a high chipmunk type voice. "Did someone call me?" A man came out of a ball of junk in the air he had green and black fungus hair and wore rusty armour and had a tyre in the crouch area and he smelt like dirty bog water. "Do I hear a damsel in distress?" He cried out loud. "Yes it is" Rusty replied in utter excitement.  
  
"You stupid Bitch Yuna what the f**ck was that.If I were you I would have laid him already you stupid.stupid..COW...MOOOOOOO!" Hollatarty started to prance around with her fingers too her head claming she was a cow or a bull. "Miss I herd you calling for help!" The right smack bang in front of Hollatary was a tyre crouch Hollatarty's blue eyes devoured the sight of them she pounced on it biting at the tyre. "Whoa.slow down cowgirl!" Hollatary stoped and regained composure and stood up. "What do you want?" "I and my fellow junketeers came to help you.we herd you screaming for help!" "If you can kill this monster on 'Final Fantasy X' I will give you a little somthin later" She licked her lips in a seductive manner and her fingertip traced down her chest Captain junkyard started to giggle like a school girl about to loose her virginity. He cleared his throat and clearly stated "I will help you" He picked up the T.V and threw it at the wall and the playstation 2 along with it. "Nooooooooooooooooo" Screamed Hollatarty she ran and jumped in a futile attempt to save it from its tragic death. "YOU F**KING P**K YOUR GONNA F**KING DIE WHEN IM F**KNING DOWN WITH YOU!" Hollatary stormed out of the room and claming as she left "I'll be back" she came back with a rifle in her hand and had an insane look in her eyes "LETS SEE IF YOU F**UKING RUSTY PIECE OF S**T YOU CALL AMOUR CAN SURVIVE THIS YOU F**CKING A$$HOLE!" She shot at Captain Junkyard Again and again she didn't stop until Bog girl pleaded her to stop but by then it was too late Captain Junkyard was horribly mutilated and fungus ridden blood stained the rug. "YOU F**CKING WANT SOME TOO?" The junketeers ran in fear they ran and ran until Rusty died of an Asthma attack and they decided to stop. Hollatary sat and wept for her playstation 2 "Oh you were to beautiful for this world anyway" And with she got a new one and finished 'Final Fantasy X' and got a blow up doll of Tidus and they lived happily ever after eating cheese. The End P.S Cheese.  
  
~*~ Ok that was more likely than not lame but hey I got a laugh and that what counts and hey it worked I'm cured! If you use this criteria for one of your wacky and zany stories please do e-mail it to me or tell me so I can R&R it. And if you want you can R&R it but go easy on me ya?~*~ 


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